Rude, Drunk People
Just yesterday, I was at a 4th of July picnic/party and these 2 men (college friends of my husband)started talking about magazines and how women love to keep them and not throw them away. Then, one of them said, "Well, my wife can throw away any magazine she wants just as long as it's not Maxim!". My knee jerk reaction was to say, "Well, you won't find that one in my house." Boy, did I open up a can of worms!!! The next thing I knew I was in the middle of the Kitchen with about 10 guys standing around me laughing at me and yelling, "What's your problem??? What, are you a BAPTIST?" I then said, "Well, actually, I grew up Baptist." That caused even more of a loud laugh fest. "You should become Lutheran or Episcopal and then you can read those magazines." I just stood there, paralyzed, not knowing what to say. I just laughed and shrugged my shoulders and let them belittle me! (And, my hubby just stood there red faced and didn't say a word. I wasn't too happy with him on the ride home!) We let the laughter die down and gracefully left. One of them yelled behind us, "Hey honey, you're not allowed to hang out with HER ... she's a BAPTIST! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!" (Important aside: Though I was raised Baptist, I no longer attend a Baptist church. This is solely b/c I actually married a Lutheran and we've compromised and picked Presbyterian. This, however, doesn't mean that I hate the Baptist faith or think they're a bunch of back woods, crazy, snake handlers. I still love my heritage and believe strongly in MOST of the doctrine. Slight differences still exist but, on the whole, I'll always have a special place in my heart for the Baptist church.)
posted by Snoopy | 1:24 PM
8 Comments:
Snoopy - Frankly, I think you guys did the right thing by just walking away and not being contentious about it.
For one thing, the example and character of Christ is not to be defensive and argumentative, but is to act in love, grace, peace and mercy to those around us, and to let the power of the Holy Spirit do the conviction and work on hearts.
Secondly, when you really think about it, it wouldn't matter if you were currently a Baptist, a member of a Baptist church, or even a Baptist preacher or something like that -- it's not "the Baptist church" that deserves our earnest devotion, it's the Lord and His true church, regardless of what sort of denominational label a person wears.
The Lord tells us to be meek and forgiving, so rather than feeling bitter and hurt by a bunch of drunken jackasses, you should pray for them and pray that the Lord will give you an opportunity to witness to them, and to give them a good word about living for the Lord, rather than being concerned with any particular label that people wear.
And as for your husband not standing up for you -- ooh, that's a little tricky. As a husband, I have to say that I've been in that position before, and it sort of puts you in an awkward position. My wife is quite feisty, and enjoys a good argument and can stand up for herself quite well. But there's still a certain time and place where it's appropriate for him to "be the man" and come to the defense of his beloved sweetheart, you know -- in a chivalrous sort of way.
But what makes it the most tricky is trying to achieve that as a Christian man and husband, within the guidelines of showing a Christ-like character to the other people there.
In other words, most of us can't picture Jesus saying "Oh that does it smartass, I'm gonna kick your butt!" to some guy at a party for disrespecting a member of his family, say His mother Mary. But despite the photos that show Him as a hippy-looking little wuss holding a lamb, we all know that the King of Kings is not a wuss, and would literally die for the benefit and love of His Bride, so there is a time and place for the heart of a lion in defense of those we are charged with protecting.
Does that make sense? In other words, I guess -- cut the boy a little slack, let him know that he's your knight in shining armor, and that you would appreciate it if he would stand up for you sometimes, but that you value the character and nature of Christ in him also, and support his decision not to be contentious and argumentative, when it would have really been "casting your pearls before swine" anyway (i.e. engaging in a discussion that was a waste of your time, since the people there were acting like drunken idiots).
For the record, the church I now attend is somehow affiliated with the Southern Baptists, even though it doesn't have the word "Baptist" anywhere in the title.
Great comment, hammer! I really love the way you express yourself. You used one of my favorite quotes "don't cast your peals before swine".
Well, I was being a little harsh on my wonderful hubby. He got as choked up as I did. He was mad at his friends for laughing at me. I totally forgave him quickly after he explained how shocked he was at their behaviour. (For the record, they weren't all THAT drunk. Still lucid enough to form sentences at least. Ha Ha.)
I enjoy your writing ... I'll try to post more often.
i feel your pain. i was thinking about this story and how that really, they felt very bad, or they wouldn't have said anything at all except maybe, "oh, that's nice." those rude drunk people know they are doing wrong, and they especially don't want you rubbing off on their wives so that you might get their little "toys" taken away. "my precious!" (in gollum voice) my advice, drop a baptist magazine off in their mail box every week, along with their maxim magazine. that will do the trick.
Ha! Good one.
HEEEEEEYYYYY. What's wrong with Snake Handling? Don't knock it till ya try it sister. You should try it while listening to "We Shall Behold Him" by S. Patti. It makes the experience a little more spiritual. The snakes like Sandi.
"Hissssssss"
Ahh!!! I hear them coming!!!!
Ah . . . the knee-jerk reaction. I know it well, and it has put me into some situations I'd rather not have been. I, however, would not have made this particular mistake because I must ask you, What in the world is inside Maxim? I've never read it.
What is the deal with Baptists anyway? Most of the members of a local Baptist church have wet bars in their homes and drink socially. I thought Baptists were against alcohol completely. How do they differ from the Lutherans or Presbyterians?
As far as what's inside Maxim, well, let's just say the models are covered just enough as to not be totally nude but they might as well be. Does that help? It's totally pornography cleverly disquised as a men's magazine. It's easily seen at Border's and Barnes & Noble right next to the espresso bar at eye level for children. No, there is no cover sleeve to hide the offensive pictures like on other porn mags. Just disgusting, in my opinion.
As far as your second question goes, there is a super long explaination to it and I might write a whole different post on it. For now, I'll tell you what I've discovered during my search with my husband for a denomination we can identify with. Yes, Baptists historically were "tea totalers" and totally embrassed Prohibition. However, it is more of a preference and not an issue of salvation or anything. Because Baptists are an autonomous collective, there are many varieties and flavors. Traditionally, Southern Baptists are the ones that are more strict on the alcohol thing and that was how I was raised.
As far as I'm concerned, though, it is a silly dividing point and didn't enter into our decision on denominations. There are way bigger and more important points of doctrine in our opinion.
Most other denoms. allow some sort of drinking but do speak out on drunkenness b/c of the verse "do not be drunk on wine but be filled with the Spirit."
What I've found, is that conservative churches, no matter what the denom., are going to agree on certain social issues and a liberal congregation is going to take the other side to those same issues. What has become more important to us is finding a conservative church that stands for traditional values and then study the deeper doctrines to see if it is a place where we are comfortable. Everyone has to find a church that reflects their personal beliefs. I think what this pea brain in my post was referring to was the fact that there are a lot of other denoms. that are lax on social morals therefore making it easier to attend and not feel guilty. They would rather go sit in a pew, chant some phrases that have no meaning to them, feel like they did their religious duty for the month, or year, and go home. Don't dare make them feel guilty about their lifestyle or way of thinking b/c that would be an invasion of their prideful self indulgences.
That being said, I don't believe the Baptist church is somehow obligated to change their beliefs to fit the changing wind of society. I have more respect for a denom. that remains true to it's traditions and remains grounded in their beliefs. I really have little patience for someone that joins a church and tries to change it to look and feel like something it isn't. If you want to go to a Lutheran church, then go there! Don't change the Baptist church to look and feel like a Lutheran church. That's just silly! I like denominations. They don't bother me in the slightest! I know that may be a shocking statement to some and I expect to get some comments on that one. What I feel is, there are different interpretations of scripture and there is nothing wrong with congregating together with like minded individuals. We don't have to be some luke warm, homogenized group of followers. I think it is possible to exist in and embrace our differences and find social unity in other areas without giving up on certain deeply held doctrines.
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